Communication fuels the dynamic of many working relationships. This includes family, friends, partners, other personal relationships and those humans we interact with on a daily basis.
At the core of communication is the willingness to be objective, flexible, present, and listen.
Before you can truly operate on a level to fully divulge into a truly authentic communicative relationship, you have to know yourself on an individual, social and human level. If not, there will be a breakdown in communication in any working relationship on any level. You could have the best INTENTION at heart but the IMPACT of the message we communicate gets lost within the emotional context of:
- lack of willingness and
This will increase the number of conflicts. When communicating effectively, one has to process through thought, emotion and behavior. Sometimes these processes can ensue out of order.
For example, Sue may want to communicate to Jim that she would like for him to pick up after himself. Sue starts to shut down because she feels unheard, rejected, disrespected and violated. Sue thinks that Jim is selfish and self absorbed. Her emotions are valid but behaviorally Sue starts to respond in silence, isolation, short answers or even withdrawing into herself. Jim on the other hand thinks that Sue is nagging and does not give him the opportunity to carry out her requests. Jim feels devalued, unheard, and irritated. Behaviorally, he responds with intense emotional outbursts, walking away, or seclusion. What’s happening here? They both are feeling misunderstood.
All things must be done decently and in that order. In 1 Corinthians 14:33 King James Version (KJV) it states:
“How is it then, brethren? when you come together, every one of you has a psalm, has a doctrine, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying. If any man speak in an unknown tongue, let it be by two, or at the most by three, and that in turn; and let one interpret. But if there be no interpreter, let him keep silence in the church; and let him speak to himself, and to God. Let the prophets speak two or three, and let the others judge.If anything be revealed to another that sits by, let the first hold his peace. For you may all prophesy one by one, that all may learn, and all may be comforted. And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets. For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints”.
In short, everyone has a discipline they go by and a tongue to curse or bless. There is a mindset about how they interpret the information being given but God is not the author of confusion. If two people can not resolve individual conflict, it’s okay to bring in a third party such as your priest, pastor, closest spiritual confident or the Bible to help seek clarity and resolution on the miscommunication.
To communicate effectively is a two-way street that requires two parties willing to participate in the exchange so that the conveyed message is received and understood with intended purpose. Fortunately, Sue and Jim can learn how to communicate more effectively by:
- being present in the moment,
- listening to gain the full meaning of what’s being said and
- to make the other person feel heard and understood.
The good thing is that you can learn how to communicate more clearly and effectively. Whether you’re trying to improve communication with your partner, friends, family, or coworkers, you can improve the communication skills that enable you to effectively connect with others on a HUMAN level, build trust and respect, and feel heard and understood. Too often, many never rise to the occasion to challenge themselves to communicate truly on the human level with someone. Most default to superficial social levels that focus on over-estimated emotional responses that could ruin very well intended relationships.
We Are What We Acquire.
Strive to propel self to a capacity to evolve at the human level. This will fuel the dynamic of how all working relationships emerge.
I challenge you to dig deeper.
- How do you perceive your doctrine of communicating?
- How do others perceive it?
- How are you propelling yourself to delve deeper into understanding self on a human level to fully operate within the context of any form of relationship?
Here are a few tips:
2. Be present
3. Be fully here
5. Be respectful
6. Be consistent
7. Be committed
8. Understand the consequences of not fully challenging yourself within these relationships, or you may risk losing them.
9. Communication is a two-way street
10. Allow your doctrine to die a little in order to fully incorporate someone else’s perception
11. Maybe just maybe you can’t always have it your way!
Being Contagious With Change,
Dr. Taaka Cash, DNP, MPH, MSN, RN, FPMHNP-BC is certified through the American Nursing Credentialing Center as an Advanced Practice Registered Nurse (APRN) in Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychiatry with prescriptive authority. Visit www.PrivyOasis.com to learn about her practice.