I know its an uncomfortable subject that people don’t like to talk about but we’re going to talk about it! Let’s start with these questions:
1. How do you define sex and intimacy?
2. How do others perceive your definition of sex and intimacy?
3. How does that affect your behavior as you operate in those spaces?
Sex and intimacy, for me, is about being feminine. Its about my curves and how I gracefully walk into a room. Its about the tone of my voice, my eyes, my smile…you get it!
There are many factors that play into healthy intimacy. Here are 3 points that I’d like to encourage you with:
Mr. Time Will Tell
I love this saying because “time” is the answer for many issues we face. Just breathe. Take a moment. Intimacy is birthed out of time and dedication. This doesn’t happen overnight. So many of us want to rush into things and be at the “5 year mark” after just a few months into a relationship. Its just not possible. We have to experience things together, learn each others reactions, and most importantly…develop trust.
Do You Trust Me?
Trust and time go hand-in-hand. Time can develop trust and you can’t have trust without time. Trust is the reliability and faith you have in another person. Without trust, intimacy is almost impossible. True intimacy welcomes vulnerability..this, my friends, is built on trust.
The Miracle of Touch
There is a psychological connection that occurs when physical touch is occurring. When it is built on trust and time, this reaction is positive. Non-sexual touch is brings comfort, safety and peace in a healthy environment. This is so incredibly important!
Sex and intimacy is about more than just a physical contact. Our connection emotionally, spiritually and intellectually can strengthen our relationships. When we cultivate these areas, it allows intimacy to connect us on a much deeper level. It also plays an important role in the physical aspect of our connection. All four areas go hand-in-hand.
My challenge to you is to truly understand your definition of sex and intimacy and how you can be contagious in these spaces. I encourage you to explore these points in each and every relationship you have in your life.
How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. May the wine go straight to my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love. Song of Songs 7:6-12
Being Contagious With Change,
Dr. Taaka Cash, DNP, MPH, MSN, RN, FPMHNP-BC is certified through the American Nursing Credentialing Center as an Advanced Practice Registered Nurse (APRN) in Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychiatry with prescriptive authority. Visit www.PrivyOasis.com to learn about her practice.